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Page 5
Would to God
I too had left him!
Why did they all smile
With mocking eyes, that day when I was vexed
To see the spikenard wasted? If they had had
The wisdom to be secret of their thoughts
And somewhat less discerning, those prompt priests
With their shrewd chaffering might perhaps have had
No bargain out of me - I'd said them nay
To more before that time, and to my thought
They'd ceased to look to me for any help.
Why did the others chafe me? If the purse
Had now and then, 'twas rarely, furnished me
A secret pittance to supply the needs
And hide the shame of the poor squalid life
I led with sick dislike, had I not lost
The promise of good days? Had I not lost
My chance of growing gains, my handicraft
To earn me something more than beggar's fare?
Did I not always with my nicest skill,
Such as not one of them could reach, swell out
Our wretched means and make two pence like three?
Why, but by that, I gave more than I took,
Threefold and fourfold. Yes the brethren might
Have spared their smiles. How hot they made my heart!
I hated them.
And then His grave sad look!
He saw too far into men's hearts. What man
Can live with one who knows him at his worst?
It makes him have no best. I could not bear
Their scorn, His knowing. I would show them all
I had some power - aye and I had a purse
Besides their bag to draw from. In my haste
I went - and afterwards it seemed too late.
I know not how, the priests can argue well,
If they pay smally. And the time was short;
I never seemed to have the space to think,
Till I awoke, and knew.
The time was short.
He saw too far into men's hearts: he knew
The purpose dizzying mine. Aye, there was need
To hasten its fulfillment. Could I wait
And nurse it while he watched me? "What thou doest
Do quickly." And I did not dare to ask
A meaning for it. He knew me. And I fled
Out from his presence. What had it served then
To lag and waver, and perchance repent?
He knew me.
Jesus is dead, is dead. Go to,
The very devils, sure, must mourn for that;
For I mourn. Jesus is dead, who looked on me
As if he loved me though he knew me. Dead!
I never thought they'd kill him. Dead, I say.
Next |
A Woman Sold
Bartimaeus
Judas
Pilate
The Walk To Emmaus
A Bride
A March Night
A Messenger
A Mother's Cry
A Wedding
Afterwards
Dead Amy
Deserted
Dreaming
Glad Waves
Going
How The Brook Sings
If
In The Storm
In The Sunshine
Looking Downstairs
Mary Lost
Never Again
Night Whispers
On The Lake
On The Shore
Our Lily
Passing Away
Perjured
Safe
Shadow
Sunlight
The Blush Rose
The Gift
The Heiress' Wooer
The Hidden Wound
The Lake
The Land Of Happy Dreams
The Old Year Out
The Red Star On The Hill
The River
The Setting Star
The Shadow Of A Cloud
To And Fro
To One Of Many
Too faithful
Two Maidens |
